August 2015
Dear Finley and Henry,
There are more important things in the world than proving that you are right.
People don’t like a know it all. Except maybe for Ken Jennings. He won about a million episodes of Jeopardy in a row, which is amazing. But actually, now that I think about it, I’m sure a lot of people didn’t like him either.
And it takes energy to prove yourself right; energy that might be better spent on more important things. John Steinbeck was a great writer - but he didn’t walk around correcting other people’s grammar all the time. He was too busy writing the Grapes of Wrath; a novel, not coincidentally, about the importance of working cooperatively within society.
You will have many moments in your life when you are right and the other person is wrong, but when sticking to your guns is not the best decision. Is it smart to try to win every debate with your boss, your friends or your wife? There are many jobless, friendless, divorced folks who think so. Consider what you have to gain, what you have to lose, how important this is to you and how it will affect your ability to influence issues that may matter more. An example - your mom wants to buy some flowers for the front porch. I think it’s a waste of money that we could spend on something more useful. We could argue about this. And I could probably convince her to not buy the flowers. But the argument would put her in a bad mood. And it would put me in a bad mood. It would take a lot of time that I could be spending with you guys in the backyard. I would have won something small at the expense of something big. Besides, the flower money is coming out of your college fund, so what do I care?
There are some matters on which you should be uncompromising. But to be blindly uncompromising on all things at all times is small minded. Trust me, I’m right about this.
Love,
Your Dear Old Dad