December 2018

Dear Finley and Henry,

You are 8 and 6. At this point, we’ve shared several thousand meals together. I’ve seen you smear spaghetti sauce from your forehead to your bellybutton. I’ve seen you scarf a half-dozen chicken fingers without pausing to breathe. I’ve seen you eat nothing but the lemon wedge off the $14 plate of food that you insisted on ordering.

I know you haven’t been watching me as closely as I’ve watched you. But have you noticed that on steak and potato nights, I always eat my potatoes first? This is not because I prefer potatoes over steak. This is because I persistently, mistakenly, think that I will enjoy the steak more, if I get through all the potatoes first.

 At the dinner table this is not a big problem. Step 1: eat potatoes. Step 2: enjoy steak.  

In life, this is a trap. Because life does not dole out potatoes in calorie-controlled servings. Life has a bottomless casserole dish filled with bland, starchy mash. And once the Cafeteria Ladies of Life (your school project partners, your room-mates, your bad luck, your bank account, your employer, etc.) realize that you are a good potato eater, the portions will get bigger and come out faster.  

How often have I thought:

  • As soon as I clear my inbox, I’ll go home and play with the kids.

  • As soon as I get through this busy stretch at work, I’ll start exercising again.

  • As soon as I retire, I’ll plant a garden, start drawing, write more, do some volunteer work, spend more time in the woods.

  • As soon as I eat my potatoes, I’ll enjoy my steak.

Don’t get me wrong – you need to eat your share of potatoes. Life is not all rib-eyes and Kansas City strips. Just know that you can’t eat them all first, because you will never clear them from your plate. Know that ‘saving the best for last’ means you will shortchange yourself on your share of the best - many a fine and hardworking man has come to his end face-down in a plate of potatoes, with an untouched steak resting beside his cheek. Don’t let your steak go cold waiting for a perfect moment that never comes. Don’t get so focused on the side dish that you miss the main course.

Note that videogames are not steak. Television is not steak. Those are fast food burgers at best. When I say steak, I’m talking about dry aged, grass-fed, prime-grade steak. The good stuff. The meaty stuff. Stuff that matters.   

Also, it wouldn’t kill you to eat a vegetable every once in a while.

Love,

Your Dear Old Dad.